Unlove me a zillion times
After a long break i am back again to scribble the words on my mind echoing,cooking up and struggling to ooze out..
and finally here it is...
A helpless hoarder,a ton weighing young woman,a beautiful girl in an asylum,an old dying lone in an apartment
Well why such cases.I usually get calm in the night where i have my lone empty room and myself.I have good friends but i am aloof.I have a family 5 states across,though little incomplete,still it exists.I am sometimes stressed about various things of daily routine such as work or relationships.It often strikes my mind that how unloved i am,somehow i tend to blame every second thing and find myself unloved to pity on myself.
Life is a repercussion of one's acts.
Now when i read about this young man waiting jaded on his death row,I fail to feel his trauma and agony.I feel mercy even when its the case of a serial killer who has raped and ripped young woman over and over again.I sometimes don't understand what led this young dashing personality who studied and practiced law and politics to do such a heinous act.How could he not kiss and make love rather kill the lady so brutally.
Are looks so deceiving or can we never understand human psychology.Now we can't call that madness .We can't call it obsessed with sex or fetish either.We can't blame porn.It's just the brain which we don't have any control over.Human brain is the most intricate thing!!
I start putting myself into his shoe and then i think do i have such stress or pain ? Am i so unfortunate to plan my own death by my actions?
It has been find out that men kill mostly out of a sexual act while women kill out of jealousy.I find an answer I am a victim of none.
A helpless hoarder.Now if someone gives me a million dollar to clean up a hoarder's house , i would never go to bury myself under the heap.What is that fear?Why such an helplessness.What makes her walk in without a feeling of disgust and still love the expired,rotten items she kept hoarding for years.A woman dies in the heap and get discovered decades after by cops.Husband was an OCD patient,a hoarder.How ungracious can a human life be. (pondering...)
Helplessness exists and sometimes it becomes deadly.
Man owns a Benz and a big mansion ,big enough to construct a basement and lock her own blood for decades. Kept entering her,ripping her apart for years,giving birth and finally this little emotionally unresponsive girl escapes to struggle for a normal life.
Relationships are intricate and incest exists.
The worst and ugliest thing in this world which i fear more than sharks is an asylum.I don't care if you call it healing or any f$^king shit.I have examples where families take an unwanted member and declare him/her a psychopath.
My belief tells me no person is insane.Insanity exists in each one of us.We just hide it deep into ourselves and act as normal civilians.Normal people do insane things and society shows them the hell gates of asylum.
I believe life is such a beauty only when we find a balance,a balance between right and wrong.We can only have faith in god when we find balance between reality and myth.
Don't nag, start finding a perfect balance.Exude instead of accumulating the negativity.Its like a poison.
I saw such zillion examples which helped me to find beauty in my own monotony which is unperturbed.I feel lucky and blessed because i have not been unloved a zillion times.
After a long break i am back again to scribble the words on my mind echoing,cooking up and struggling to ooze out..
and finally here it is...
A helpless hoarder,a ton weighing young woman,a beautiful girl in an asylum,an old dying lone in an apartment
Well why such cases.I usually get calm in the night where i have my lone empty room and myself.I have good friends but i am aloof.I have a family 5 states across,though little incomplete,still it exists.I am sometimes stressed about various things of daily routine such as work or relationships.It often strikes my mind that how unloved i am,somehow i tend to blame every second thing and find myself unloved to pity on myself.
Life is a repercussion of one's acts.
Now when i read about this young man waiting jaded on his death row,I fail to feel his trauma and agony.I feel mercy even when its the case of a serial killer who has raped and ripped young woman over and over again.I sometimes don't understand what led this young dashing personality who studied and practiced law and politics to do such a heinous act.How could he not kiss and make love rather kill the lady so brutally.
Are looks so deceiving or can we never understand human psychology.Now we can't call that madness .We can't call it obsessed with sex or fetish either.We can't blame porn.It's just the brain which we don't have any control over.Human brain is the most intricate thing!!
I start putting myself into his shoe and then i think do i have such stress or pain ? Am i so unfortunate to plan my own death by my actions?
It has been find out that men kill mostly out of a sexual act while women kill out of jealousy.I find an answer I am a victim of none.
A helpless hoarder.Now if someone gives me a million dollar to clean up a hoarder's house , i would never go to bury myself under the heap.What is that fear?Why such an helplessness.What makes her walk in without a feeling of disgust and still love the expired,rotten items she kept hoarding for years.A woman dies in the heap and get discovered decades after by cops.Husband was an OCD patient,a hoarder.How ungracious can a human life be. (pondering...)
Helplessness exists and sometimes it becomes deadly.
Man owns a Benz and a big mansion ,big enough to construct a basement and lock her own blood for decades. Kept entering her,ripping her apart for years,giving birth and finally this little emotionally unresponsive girl escapes to struggle for a normal life.
Relationships are intricate and incest exists.
The worst and ugliest thing in this world which i fear more than sharks is an asylum.I don't care if you call it healing or any f$^king shit.I have examples where families take an unwanted member and declare him/her a psychopath.
My belief tells me no person is insane.Insanity exists in each one of us.We just hide it deep into ourselves and act as normal civilians.Normal people do insane things and society shows them the hell gates of asylum.
I believe life is such a beauty only when we find a balance,a balance between right and wrong.We can only have faith in god when we find balance between reality and myth.
Don't nag, start finding a perfect balance.Exude instead of accumulating the negativity.Its like a poison.
I saw such zillion examples which helped me to find beauty in my own monotony which is unperturbed.I feel lucky and blessed because i have not been unloved a zillion times.
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